Setting - A Train
[God is wearing a hoodie and seems to be asleep as the devil enters and paces about]
D - This is perfect - I love the holidays: too many parties and too little sleep, too much food and not enough sun; too many tourists and not enough Nintendo Wii's in stock.
(As he says the following he reveals who he by taking off his hat and showing his horn.)
It's the perfect time of year to win a few converts.
G - [Laughs] Oh my dear boy you would pitiful if you weren't so sad. Or was that the other way round?
D - Oh God!
G - That's right!! You get two points!
D - What is it with you? Everywhere I go: there you are!
G - That's because I am everywhere!
D - Wait a minute: Isn't it a sin to brag?
G - Not if I do it!
D - Very funny.
G - So you think you can peel off some sheep from my flock, do you?
D - That's right. Matter of fact I'll bet you I can win a soul or two right on this A train. [Pause] Wait, here come some suckers now! [If there's a break, repeat line as if to prompt action.]
G - You're on … [they both spit on their hands, shake and stand off to the sides]
[Shepherds enter, wise men enter, Mary and Joseph enter and Jesus is revealed]
D - Okay that's not fair!
G - This from my favorite angel who stabbed me in the back!
D - You're never gonna let that go are you? And what's with this Jesus stuff? I mean it wasn’t even original! You did the same thing 2,000 years ago!
G - Yeah but it works like a son of gun
D - I really hate you.
G - I know but have a Merry Christmas anyway!
End
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